Welcome, Truckers!
Welcome to Cascadia! Now that you have more free time because you're running smart, you'll love the comforts of our little town. We welcome both types of truck drivers: those who already drive a Freightliner Cascadia, and those who will soon.
Rules of the Road
- When being passed by a truck, you will flash your chicken lights to notify the passer they have cleared your nose.
- Drivers failing to clean up after themselves in shower facilities may be thrown in the Cascadia Fountain.
- Any dispatcher requesting a run that requires a waiver in the laws of time and space shall compensate the driver for any unforeseen consequences of time travel.
- Any dispatcher or trucking company requiring "dead heading" or "bobtailing" for more than 30 miles shall compensate driver.
- Any driver overheard complaining about a good dispatcher shall sit in a windowless cubicle for eight hours while being howled at by multiple customers.
- Use of "Georgia Overdrive" is legal on Mt. Leland.
- All restrooms shall be made available to truckers. All truck stops shall install restrooms at both ends and in the center of parking lots larger than 100 yards wide.
- Drivers owning a truck with more than 40% chrome surface area shall be subject to a fine of $200. This law is suspended during "Bachelors Week."
- Fleet managers and dispatchers shall be issued Freightliner Cascadias with "training trailers" made of sponge.
- Drivers shall comply with all children's requests to honk.
- Cascadia Curfew Law of 2007: No four-wheelers or vehicles under 10,000 GVM allowed on the streets after 9 p.m.
